Over the course of the past two months I have learned a lot about myself as a person and as a mother. Allow me to share some of my learning curve with you.
- Just looking at her fills me with such incomprehensible joy it brings tears to my eyes. When I was little people would ask the usual question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" My answer was always a Mom. I am so blessed to have this treasure in my life. I don't want to take one single day for granted.
- I am continually amazed by how much I can love someone. It is a love that is like no other. I had to fall in love with Jakob. It took time (not much... well from my end anyways... but that's besides the point) right from the moment I saw her I loved her and I know that nothing will ever sever that love.
- Most days I don't get out of my P.J's it's sad but lets be serious, most things get slobbered on so why even bother when I know I'm not leaving the house? And honestly P.J's are far more comfortable than jeans any day.
- I've said it before and I'll say it again.... I suck. I cry when she cries. I mean when she seriously cries. I don't like not being able to fix what's wrong. It's the worst feeling in the world. Never mind that, I cry a lot now, during movies, while watching Ethnie smile, reading a book. I mean I'm a total sap, and I really dislike it. My emotions have always been wired directly to my tear ducts but this is out of control.
- While watching General Conference this year I had several moments of pure eternal joy. I knew this is what it was all about. I watched as this baby brought together family and the joy she emanated. She just made people glow.
- I've learned that some days I will simply not get ANYTHING done.... and that it's okay. I can't be super woman all of the time, heck I'm not super woman 50% of the time. What I'm trying to say is that it's okay to have lazy days where you simply cuddle with your baby in bed all day long. I'm also learning to do a lot of things one handed.
- I've learned that babies create a TON of laundry. Between blow outs, drool, spit ups and other events everyone's entire outfits probably get changed at least twice a day. I've learned that "cute" outfits are now only for special occasions and that I should probably be prepared for it to get pooped on.
- There is nothing more precious than a sleeping or smiling baby. Even though it's a horrible habit, I love sleeping with her. Cuddling is the greatest!!
- I thought I would be all tough... nope.... like I said I suck. It's entirely different when it's your own child crying. I thought I would have the will to set a schedule... and stick to it. For the most part we have a schedule but when she's sad and hungry I feel so guilty denying her food. I realize that she's only 10 weeks old and that rules will come as she gets older. Hopefully I'll get a stronger back bone. I'm sure I will but let me say it now... It's NOT easy!
- Even though it's hard on Jakob and sometimes hard on me I {love} that she's a Momma's girl. It's gotten to the point where most of the time she needs to be able to see me or she gets upset. She doesn't really like Daddy when Momma's around and I'm loving being the favorite. I know it'll be short lived once she realizes that Daddy is full of fun.
There you have it, 10 things I've learned. There are so many more but those are the highlights. The calling of motherhood is a beautiful adventure and I am loving every minute of it. It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination, I didn't think it would be. I am learning a lot about myself and I am so thankful that I can be a mother. I don't think it can get much better than this. I am filled with such joy each and every day, I am so beyond lucky. Looking back five years ago I never would have thought my life would have been this way. I am so grateful for the changes I made in my life and for a wonderful husband who lead the way.
