The Prolgue:
For weeks before little Ethnie's arrival I had been doing anything and everything I could to help her come on her own. The thought of induction terrified me. I am probably the biggest wimp you will ever meet, I mean I cry when I get a sliver, so as a result I tried to move the process along by walking, cleaning, moving large and heavy objects and lots of baking. It felt so nice not to have to baby myself physically anymore but nothing was working. I was destined for induction.
On February 23rd, the day of my induction, Jakob called me at noon saying that the hospital had called and asked if I wanted to go in at 3:00 p.m. instead of 5:00 p.m. At this point the wait was killing me so I was all for going in earlier. Jakob wasn't originally going to be able to come and check into the hospital with me because he had a very important meeting to attend, so Mom Tobler was going to accompany me and help me get settled and Jakob would arrive at 7:00 p.m. I called Mom and notified her of the change. She arrived at the house around 1:00 p.m. and as per my sister-in-laws advice we went out to lunch so I could stuff myself. While we were finishing up I got another call from Jakob saying that he had returned home early from his meeting and would be able to take me to the hospital. We went to get another sandwich for him and the ladies behind the counter started to tease us thinking it was for me. When we went to pay they smiled and said "It's on the house." I knew right then and there that we were going to be blessed with amazing people to help us through every step of the process.
(All of our arm bands. Jakob said I could ride any carnival ride I wanted & one was redeemable for a free baby... well not so free.)
Chapter 1: A Waiting Game
Jakob and I arrived at the hospital and they checked me in. It was unusually slow in labor and delivery so we got lots of attention. By 4:00 p.m. they had hooked up my IV and all of the monitors and started me on Cervidil to get me all softened up. I will honestly tell you... this was the worst part of my delivery experience. Having to lay in the most uncomfortable bed imaginable with a numb bum and try to sleep while listening to this super loud monitor pound all night long. Any time we would turn it down, our nurse would come and turn it back up. My tail bone and back were killing me just from being in bed. I was contracting every 3 - 5 minutes but they were nothing too exciting.
(Right after I delivered, my first picture as a Momma. My eyes are all red a puffy from crying so much.)
At 4:00 in the morning they removed the Cervidil and checked me. After 12 hours I was still only 3- 4 cm dilated. They then let me take a shower and eat some breakfast before they started the pictocin. I was so cold and nervous that my finger nails were blue. I didn't eat much because my stomach was cramping from all of the nerves. They hooked me up and upped the dose every 20 minutes. After 4 hours with my contractions about 1 minute - 1 1/2 minutes apart they checked me again to see if they could break my water. I was still at 4 cm and she was floating pretty high. At this point I was getting a little discouraged. I wasn't in much pain, it was mostly mental control I attribute to that. I stayed very calm and relaxed through every contraction and tried to just let my body do it's thing. The nurses kept telling me how great I was doing, I am sure they say that to everyone but they seemed surprised at how calm and quiet I was. I would rarely open my eyes, Jakob had the news on so I had the noise to distract me. I felt very in control.
Chapter 2: Bring on the Drugs
I was at about a 5-6 pain level when they asked if I wanted my epidural. I was torn, on one hand it would be nice to be numb but I could still breathe through the pain and the thought of the needle made my heart rate jump significantly. I decided to wait it out a little bit longer. The nurses then decided to have me sleep on my side thinking that would help me dilate. I'm not exactly sure why but the pain was
much harder to breathe through on my side. I wasn't able to relax as well as I could on my back and I instantly became very cranky. After another hour (
10:00 a.m.) they checked me again. Still 4 but they decided they were going to break my water anyways. My doctor came into the room (
he had just gotten off of a c-section and was in the hospital) and asked once again if I wanted my epidural. I looked and him and asked if I should get it. He grabbed my hand and told me he wasn't trying to pressure me but things were going to get harder after my water broke and he didn't see the point in being in pain if I didn't have to be. So I decided to get it.
(Ethnie & Tasha)
As soon as I decided to get the epidural I started bawling. I was terrified, but with the rationalization that it's just a poke and then I'll be fine I tried to keep my composure. I hate crying and I was almost sobbing. I would now like to give a shout out to our nurses. They were beyond incredible. We went through several shifts so we had quite the collection but Tasha and Jill were the one's through the delivery and I was so grateful for them. Tasha was our RN and Jill was a student. They were both trying to comfort and reassure me that I was doing great and that they were really impressed with how long I held out for. Dr. Yea came into the room and they were trying to get me to breathe to stop my shaking. Jill held my hand and Tasha grabbed my shoulders. Dr. Yea was wonderful! Quick, funny and made me feel comfortable considering the circumstances. I think I broke one of Jill's fingers I was squeezing so hard! It didn't hurt per say but it was uncomfortable.
(Ethnie & Jill such a wonderful woman!)
Julie Dyer (
a friend of ours) is also a L&D nurse. She was telling me about which anesthesiologists were good and which ones to watch out for. "The guy with the pony tail" was number one on her list. I couldn't remember any names but when Dr. Yea was done I asked him if once upon a time he had a pony tail. He looked at me puzzled and said yes he did. I explained about Julie and he laughed, he then said "Most of the time after I finish giving epidurals, the mothers sigh and say "Yeah." That's how you can tell your a good doctor, when they say your name when your done." He was super funny.
Chapter 3: 4-9 in 2 1/2 hours
After I had gotten my drugs I was back to my chipper self. The nurses were constantly saying how funny I was. I really didn't think I was all that entertaining but why be all doom and gloom when I felt great and I was about to be a mother?! They broke my water and then I sent Jakob home to get showered and eat something while I went to sleep. He came back and I got a 2 hour rest! Whoohoo! I was stoked! Tasha came back and informed me that she was going to check me again and if I hadn't progressed to at least 5 that they were going to do some internal monitoring. I was at 9. Halle-stinking-lujah! She went to call the doctor I instantly had the urge to push. I thought it was rather strange since I couldn't feel much of anything, how would I know I needed to push? Tasha came back followed by Jill and I informed them of my situation, Tasha checked me again and I was in fact ready to push. Tasha left to rush Dr. Martin and Jill started explain to me what was going to happen and what I needed to do. Seriously who need birthing classes when your getting drugs and have awesome nurses?
(Jakob's first picture with our little love bug. It doesn't get much better than seeing your husband adore your child.)
Chapter 4: Poor Jakob
Tasha came back into the room and Jakob took his position behind my bed. I didn't realize how much bodily fluids bothered him. I guess there is a reason why he's majoring in business finance and not in the medical industry. He had informed me
well before delivery that he wanted nothing to do with cutting the cord or watching our little girl make her grand entrance. I was fine with that as long as he stayed in the room. Tasha looked at Jakob and said I need you to hold a leg so they don't flop all over. He looked at her with big eyes and said "That's okay I'll just stay here." Tasha then said "NO! I need you to hold a leg so I can watch her push." He didn't have much of a choice and poor Jakob took his position. My first contraction came and I pushed. After I was done I looked at Jakob... white as a sheet. I told him to go and drink his juice box so he wouldn't faint. He stumbled over and guzzled it down before my next contraction. I looked at Jill and asked if I had done a good job and what I needed to improve on. She just laughed at me saying I was doing great. I looked at her with a serious face and said "No Jill, seriously... I need to know if that push was alright or if I need to do something different." For some reason they thought I was just funny. Next contraction I started pushing, 3 sets of 10 seconds, pushing as hard as you can without taking a breath is a
long time. By second 7 of round three I heard Jakob say "Oh Sh!t." That's right.... he totally swore. I finished pushing and took a swat at him. I started laughing, he was still super white and had caught a glimpse of Ethnie crowning. I honestly thought he was going to pass out. Next contraction I start pushing and in between my 10 second intervals I'm looking at Jakob and saying "Breathe!" He'd gasp for air the same time as me while I pushed. The nurses said if I didn't stop laughing Ethnie was going to be delivered from me laughing instead of pushing. Poor Jakob... what a trooper.
(Jakob getting ready for his first diaper change as Daddy. They offered him gloves and he gladly accepted.)
(Getting all fresh and clean! Way to go Daddy!)
Chapter 5: Hmm... That's Not Good
I pushed once more and then all of a sudden Tasha and Jill got super nervous. I looked up a the monitor and saw this significant drop on the screen. I figured it had to Ethnie's heart rate so I inquired as to what was going on. They reassured me everything was fine, but they were terrible liars. I knew something was up, the cord was wrapped around her neck and every time I would contract her heart rate dropped... a lot! At this point I felt completely at peace. I knew she would be fine. I had received a blessing saying that all would be well, I felt love and comfort from our Father in Heaven and I was completely calm about the situation. They rolled me on my side to stop her from coming any further into my birth canal and once again tried to rush Dr Martin. (
His office is approx 15 minutes away with all green lights, most of the time... all the lights are red ;).) They had another nurse come in to check my monitor and all of a sudden they lost her heart rate. Pretty sure the monitor just slipped but they couldn't find it again so they paged for help in a very panicked voice and had started flipping me upside down. I'll admit... I was a little bit anxious at this point.
Chapter 6: A Moment of Eternal Bliss
A few seconds later Dr. Martin marched into the room. He was all smiles and asked me if I was ready to have a baby. I looked at him and replied with "Well, I don't see many other options." It lightened the mood significantly. He started scolding the nurses asking them why they were so nervous, everything was fine and he didn't want me freaking out. I told him I was good and he set straight to work. I felt so bad for the nurses, they were doing what they thought was best for me and the baby and here is Dr. Martin just teasing them. I can honestly say I had the BEST team in the world to help me deliver Ethnie! Good gravy, I am soooo blessed!
(Dr. Martin & Ethnie, this man is incredible!)
Dr. Martin asked me to push again so I did. There was lots of chatting a joking around I was super happy and super calm and it just blew everyone's mind. I couldn't fathom why, how could I not be happy?!
(Ethnie's First Picture)
I pushed once more and she was here February 24th, 2012, 1:17 p.m., 7lbs 9oz, 20.5 inches, purple as could be. He flopped her on my stomach and I began to sob. I will never forget that feeling of love for this little girl and such an overwhelming feeling of love from our Father in Heaven. For just a moment I had a glimpse into eternity and it was perfect. I more fully understood the love of our Heavenly Father and our Savior. I understood the plan of Salvation and I was so grateful that Ethnie was mine forever. I tried to memorize every little feature, engrave that moment into my memory forever. She was perfect and I couldn't have been happier. Dr. Martin then got the chord ready for Jakob to cut. He called him over and I explained that he didn't want to. Dr. Martin laughed and said "Oh yes he is!!!" Secretly I'm grateful Dr. Martin pushed Jakob, it freaked him out but he did it!
(The first time I got to hold her)
They whisked her away to try and get her to breathe. She wasn't not breathing per say but she was taking her time getting her lungs to open up. Dr. Martin did an excellent job of distracting me while Jakob watched them work over our little girl. At the sound of her first little cry I once again tears of incomprehensible joy fell from my eyes. Jakob was taking pictures and I could tell Ethnie had him smitten already. It took them what seemed like forever to get everything done. They asked me if I wanted to hold her again before they bathed her. I told them no, I knew once they gave her back to me I wasn't going to let her go. After an eternity she was once again placed into my arms and I was just enchanted. She looked exactly like Jakob. I could hardly believe it.
Chapter 7: Pure Bliss, Embarrassment and Visitors
I was super alert after the delivery, they brought me some food and I just began to chomp on anything and everything. They stopped my epidural and slowly the sensation began to come back to my body. Jakob was just glowing holding our baby girl. I swear every nurse on staff came into our room to see her. It was incredible. I wanted to show her off to the world. At one point we had 13 people in our room. We waited a little while before we sent out the word of her arrival via text and phone calls. We just wanted to soak it all up.
(Calling Oma and Opa van den Berge in Canada)
An hour and a half after my epidural had stopped I wanted to use the rest room. The nurses came in to assist me, really all I wanted to do was get out of bed! I was going crazy. My legs were fine but I had zero bladder control, freaking humiliating! I made such a mess and I felt SO bad. I asked if I could clean it up and they both looked at me stunned! Once again I had surprised them, not only was I out of bed right away, (
apparently that is uncommon) but I wanted to clean. I think it has something to do with being my mothers daughter. I wanted to walk around a bit but they didn't want me pushing my luck, back to bed I went... but this time I had a baby to cuddle.
(I just love Mom's facial expression here! The perfect first reaction!)
Mom and Dad Tobler were the first to see our little girl. It was an incredible experience just letting them soak up something so precious. I was so happy! I am so grateful to have some family close. I don't know how Jakob and I would have managed on our own. I tried to hold back the tears as this overwhelming feeling of gratitude encompassed my entire being. Man, I was an emotional wreck!
Chapter 8: The End of Day 1
(James and Ethnie)
It took awhile to move me to our recovery room. Once they did a darling nurse came in to explain to me some paper work. I really appreciated her but I wanted nothing to do with what she was saying. I hadn't really slept in over 26 hours, we had company, my phone was ringing off the hook, I wanted to be with my little girl and I was foggy. After 20 minutes of explanation she finally let us be. James was the first non family member to see our little girl. I am so thankful for such wonderful family and friends. It felt wonderful to show her off and watch her bewitch anyone who came near her.
(Our first family photo)
At 9:00 p.m. it was just the three of us. Our first real moment at a family and we were all so exhausted. Ethnie slept like a machine, which was wonderful.
We are so happy to have such a precious and healthy baby girl. Thank you to all who helped along the way and still continue to help and support us. Words cannot do our gratitude justice.
At 4 days old Mom Tobler and I tried our hand at newborn photos. Ethnie was so cooperative. Here are a few of our highlights :) Hopefully we'll be able to do part II this week.
She's the key to our heart <3
Love this picture. Her eyes are so bright. Gosh I love her!
This moose hat was by far my favorite hat! I was soooo stoked about it, however it was much too small! So sad :(
Our little princess was doing such a good job. Of course we knew we were taking a gamble with her little bum hanging out. Of course we had an accident and it was super funny! Good gravy, what a mess.
