Tonight my head is once again filled with a hive of buzzing bees. I cannot get it to stop humming no, it's more than that... zipping. I would love for it to simply hum from thought to thought gently gliding and organizing as it goes; but instead, I sit here in the stillness of our home and my head is bursting with thoughts that simply do not connect. I am feeling overwhelmed, not by life, but the lack there of. Allow me to explain myself. By lack of life I did not mean that I am too busy quite the opposite, I feel as though I am not maximizing my time as best as I should. There is so much that I want to accomplish yet as the week rolls through I end up looking back thinking what did I accomplish? What makes me better this week than I was the last? There is so much more I want to do, become and learn. I want to create, to be healthy, and be organized. I feel as though I am standing at a buffet line looking at all of the possibilities but I simply take nibbles and I don't dive in with my heart, mind and soul. There are so many pathways I want to go down but I'm always to scared of failing.
This week must be a week of balance. I am staring Young Women's Camp right in the face and I feel as though I'm standing in front of a tidal wave about to engulf me. Just recently our camp directors father passed away and she will no longer be attending camp. My heart goes out to her, I can't even imagine how she must feel and if she reads this I want her to know how much we love her. Seriously.... she rocks.
As what was once her responsibilities are placed onto my shoulders I feel inadequate. I feel as though I am standing in the shadow of a giant. How am I to measure up to what this wonderful woman? I feel as though I am not maximizing my calling to the best of my abilities. Nevertheless I can feel the love and faith of the girls pushing me and I pray with all of my heart that it will all come together. I am so thankful for EVERYTHING our director has done. Seriously she just handed us boxes of completed packets for the girls and said... here you go. She is wonderful.
One week... Seven days... How did it sneak up on us so quickly?
This week must be a week of balance. I am staring Young Women's Camp right in the face and I feel as though I'm standing in front of a tidal wave about to engulf me. Just recently our camp directors father passed away and she will no longer be attending camp. My heart goes out to her, I can't even imagine how she must feel and if she reads this I want her to know how much we love her. Seriously.... she rocks.
As what was once her responsibilities are placed onto my shoulders I feel inadequate. I feel as though I am standing in the shadow of a giant. How am I to measure up to what this wonderful woman? I feel as though I am not maximizing my calling to the best of my abilities. Nevertheless I can feel the love and faith of the girls pushing me and I pray with all of my heart that it will all come together. I am so thankful for EVERYTHING our director has done. Seriously she just handed us boxes of completed packets for the girls and said... here you go. She is wonderful.
One week... Seven days... How did it sneak up on us so quickly?
2 comments:
Stephanie, you are going to do a wonderful job at girls camp. You already have the spirit with you to lead and guide you to the needs of the girls... Use that tool. Good luck with everything... You are fabulous and a wonderful role model... Don't forget it. Marilyn
Whatever you've got must be contagious...cuz' we caught the same "bug". When you've figured out a cure...let me know. I've been battling this malady for years.
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