I am getting teary eyed just writing this post. Mom Tobler, words cannot do my gratitude justice but I'll try. Mom arrived 6 days before Redd was born. We hadn't planned on having the extra time to prepare but she was always so encouraging, never saying anything negative or complaining about the change in plans. She knew my needs before even I did and I felt so much peace as we left to deliver Redd.
I came home from the hospital on Thursday and Mom was right there, house flowing smoothly, dropping kids off at school, cooking meals, trying to stay on top of laundry, and loving my children as if they were her own. I essentially slept in, and nursed a baby from my chair and Mom handled everything else and I was so greatful.
Sunday evening Jakob got sick, no big deal we thought, just a head cold... until it wasn't. Jakob had some sort of upper respitory virus and he was sick... really sick. I'm sure you can only imagine our feelings as we looked at our 5 day old baby and decided that Jakob just had to stay away from him. Jakob moved out of our room that night to contain his germs and was no longer able to hold Redd. Jakob spent the next few days not moving from the couch for more than a few minutes at a time, coughing like crazy, nursing a headache and trying to battle a fever. Mom was there to give him all of the medicine, make him get well food and take over all of the things that Jakob was supposed to help with.
The night before Mom was supposed to leave Jakob spiked a fever of 102.6 and I went into full blow anxiety mode. How was I supposed to do this? I had a brand new baby, who Jakob couldn't touch, and three children who needed so many things. My hormones we at a high and I just sat in the bathroom and bawled. And then I Googled flights. I came out of the bathroom and slowly started voicing my concerns. Being honest is a hard thing for me sometimes, especially when it comes to me not being enough. I was feeling pretty good mental health wise but the thought of being alone terrified me and I hated feeling that way. I should be enough, I should be able to handle these sorts of situations without any issues. If I wanted four kids I had better be able to take care of them on my own. But I knew I couldn't, not yet. Not without risking going to the dark and twisty part of my emotional mind and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to fight my way back out of depression if I was sucked in. So I asked Mom to stay and without hesitation she simply said "ask Dad." I called and he didn't even hesitate to say yes. And my heart broke in gratitude. Mom and Dad both sacrifice so much for us and I am just so thankful for the way they serve without ever hesitating.
Mom stayed for an extra three days and it made all of the difference. I felt in control and she left me feeling confident and ready despite Jakob still being sick. I am so so thankful for Mom and I pray that I may become more and more like her. Thank you for coming and staying Mom, I don't think you realize how much it meant to both of us. We sure do love you ad Pa.
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